WE DON’T EVEN REALIZE WHEN WE’RE IN THE GRIP OF OUR OWN BELIEFS
My attempt at initiating future therapy for the suffering MAGA conspiracy theorist
WE DON’T EVEN REALIZE WHEN WE’RE IN THE GRIP OF OUR OWN BELIEFS*
Well I witnessed on social media more justification of conspiracy theories,
Even though I dismissed it rudely - I thought I’d try to find solutions.
Don’t they know they’re mired in a false narrative, I asked myself,
Oh, snap out of it man - but I’m not helping out it might seem,
Now I decided to try and work toward a solution for the trapped,
‘ What the mind wishes, it believes.” - Heliodorus**
Trump has seemed to persuade many folks of seeming nonsense.
Each one of these people (broadly) started out a Reagan Republican,
Very much did they identify with this label and asked no questions,
Each one overtime has sunk further in the bog hole of a conspiracist,
Now they’re almost immobilized it might seem from any change.
Realize that focusing on the Latino border crosser or the trans-athlete,
Each trigger comes from such external stimuli as this - and the socialist,
And it’s impossible for them to steer away and to let go,
Lenses of a red color dominates their vision - all seems red to them,
I must state that I’m not a trained therapist - this is only my best guess,
Zebras - don’t look for them when the hooves do sound***,
Every conspiratorial mind probably makes one accept it’s a zebra herd.
What do I know, I can’t assume negative self-talk accompanies all this,
However, I strongly suspect that the negativity is baked in hard,
Even though openness might be deemed weakness in our world,
Nothing can stop us if we want to change our beliefs from our thoughts.
We all likely have our minds stuck in an unhealthy narrative sometimes,
Every conspiracy theory ingested wants company for another,
‘ To adapt himself is peculiarly the business of a wise.” - Demophilus****
Really, flexible in mind probably doesn’t mean another conspiracy theory,
Erwin (I) is having a tough time doing this particular exercise.
Ideological extremism is linked to conspiracy theories I read,
Now it’s apparent to me that few would think of themselves as extremists.
To practice positive reinforcement infers avoiding conspiratorial thought,
Having activities to improve mood versus fear based conspiracy theories,
Erwin (I) wonder if anxiety disorders are linked to conspiracy theories.
Given that anxiety sensitivity and drinking are possibly linked,
Really is addictive behavior linked to belief in conspiracy theories,
In my own experience I suppose there is a correlation,
Professionals are certainly needed to address all these possibilities.
Only if we could always recognize our harmful narratives we hold on to,
For the conspiracy theorists seem to think they’re the chosen knowers.
Oh it seems self-worth is a component of thinking to confirm such,
Understand that it matters more how you react to what you’re thinking,
Reasoning in a false way plus certain emotional attitudes spells disaster.
Of the so-called pseudoscience involved, really what can we do,
With the demarcation between science and pseudoscience blurred,
Now the conspiracy mentality implies always a master worldly plan.
Being that it seems intractable to try and help others in this game,
Each attempt might only occasionally help out the afflicted,
Likely some are lost in the rabbit hole and like it there too much,
Intelligent beings should act like intelligent beings at all times,
Everyday I worry that the proportion of those lost will be too much,
For perhaps this is much more than a negative narrative as I’ve thought,
So I only imagined this might be a starting place for what will be needed.
*Steven C. Hayes (born August 12, 1948) is an American clinical psychologist and Nevada Foundation Professor at the University of Nevada, Reno Department of Psychology, where he is a faculty member in their Ph.D. program in behavior analysis.
**Heliodorus of Emesa (flourished 4th century AD, Emesa [now Ḥimṣ, Syria]) was a Greek writer, known as the author of the Aethiopica, the longest and most readable of the extant ancient Greek novels.
***When you hear hoofbeats, don't look for zebras
This is a medical saying that means when making a diagnosis, start with the most likely answer and work methodically. It was coined by Theodore Woodward, a University of Maryland School of Medicine professor, in the late 1940s. Theodore Englar Woodward (March 22, 1914 – July 11, 2005) was an American medical researcher at the University of Maryland, Baltimore. In 1948, he received a Nobel Prize nomination for his role in finding cures for typhus and typhoid fever.
****To adapt himself to every temper and to every change of life, is peculiarly the business of a wise.” — Demophilus
DEMOPHILUS; a Pythagorean philosopher of uncertain epoch; he was the author of several works on moral philosophy, of which only a few fragments are extant.
I noticed another posting on Facebook of a particular group of diehard Trump MAGA supporters. In this post was listed four separate conspiracy theories in which it was obvious that the writer was committed to state his beliefs in almost an oath taking way. I often see this on social media, even among some people I know. It somewhat infuriates me in that it’s obvious that they are playing only a pawn’s role in it all and others who might know better are only manipulating these folks for their own gain. But when it comes to years of conspiracy theory mentality at work it’s difficult to deduce who might actually be the true believers and who are only pushing buttons. As one who at one time much younger and less wise concocted very complex narratives about my own struggles I suppose I truly identify and hope that I only want to help. In the conspiracy theorist mind anyone can quickly be integrated into the plot, so even an earnest desire for help is seen as some kind of wickedness at play. So I understand the dilemma in which I walk. But in the interest of at least starting a dialogue I’ve included today some writings from a professional therapist on personal narratives as well as on psychological flexibility which I understand as being important as described by Steven Hayes. Perhaps I’m hitting the mark most of the time in the acrostic poem above, I’ve done the best I could. I liked what Mr. Hayes has written and I think it’s worth reading so I’ve included much of two of his writings. As for equating narratives with conspiracy theory believers I mostly am assuming they relate closely. I might not be seeing factors correctly, and certainly don’t have the training required, but as I’ve said I only want to stimulate thought in what I feel is a very destructive problem in America today.
WE DON’T EVEN REALIZE WHEN WE’RE IN THE GRIP OF OUR OWN BELIEFS
Steven C. Hayes Ph.D.
@StevenCHayes
SELF-HELP
From Psychology Today
6 Signs That You're Stuck in a Negative Narrative
How to overcome the story of "not good enough."
Updated March 28, 2024
KEY POINTS
The stories you tell yourself about yourself shape how you think, feel, and act.
However, more than what you think, it matters how you react to your own thinking.
By holding your thoughts lightly, you can notice that these are just stories.
Pay attention to these six signs, and practice holding your beliefs with more lightness and flexibility.
What you think about yourself and the world around you tremendously affects your life and overall well-being. For instance, if you think you are worthy of love and capable of confronting and overcoming life’s challenges, you are more likely to act in ways that confirm these thoughts. On the other hand, if you think the opposite is true—that you’re unworthy and incompetent—odds are you will act in alignment with those as well. The stories you tell yourself about yourself (that is, what you believe about yourself), shape how you think, feel, and act.
However, this is only part of the truth and maybe not even the biggest part. Because more than what you think, it matters how you react to your own thinking. For instance, you might think, “I will never be good enough." But you are kind, caring, and compassionate towards yourself. It’s possible! And you know that because if you look more closely at your experience, negative thoughts don’t always land in the same way.
Sometimes therapists use the term belief to talk about thoughts that are implicitly adopted and are then complied with, or fought with—and from that point of view, the real action is not what you think so much as what you believe. In my own work, we usually say people are fused with these thoughts, or that they become entangled with these thoughts, but I’ll practice what I’m preaching here and in this post, I’ll use the term belief to refer to thoughts that are adopted as a basis of action. (Settle down Steve, this ain’t gonna kill you!)
By holding your thoughts lightly, you can notice that these are just stories your mind tells you about yourself. And even though they feel true (or sometimes even are objectively true), they don’t have to dominate your life. Thoughts are just thoughts, they don’t hold power over you unless you get caught up in them.
This is often easier said than done, because we all hold onto beliefs about ourselves that seem as self-evident as the fact that fire is hot, or that water makes things wet. And much too often, we don’t even realize when we’re in the grip of our own beliefs, unable to distinguish them from what is while letting ourselves be guided by them in unhelpful or self-destructive ways. For this reason, it’s important to learn how to notice when we’re stuck in a narrative that negatively affects our lives. Looking out for the following six signs may help.
Sign #1 Overidentification With Labels
The human mind is a master at categorizing. We give names to all the birds in the sky, all the fish in the sea, and literally everything else, because it helps us make sense of the world and allows us to make better decisions that ensure our survival. Scriptural stories note how powerful this is (for example, Genesis 2: 18-20)* but so do science and practical experience. For instance, if someone shouts “tiger,” we don’t need to see the animal ourselves to know that we better start running. But as useful as this ability can be, it can also turn on us, especially when we apply it to ourselves.
*18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
19 Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name.20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals.
Words can never capture the true complexity of life, and instead reduce everything to a mere label. And when we forget this fact, which we quite often do, we mistake the label for the real thing. We then reduce ourselves to being our job, to our role within our family, to a slur somebody once called us, to a mental health diagnosis we once received, and so on. We are then no longer a living being of unfathomable complexity, but we are “a janitor,” “a mom,” “a loser,” or just “depressed.” The first sign that we’re stuck in a narrative is that we overly identify with such labels.
Sign #2 Repetition of Negative Patterns
Few habits always have “good” or “bad” results, their usefulness depends on the circumstances. Take a process such as shutting down your deepest feelings. That process is a lousy basis for a fruitful relationship, but learning how to do that for short periods can be essential if you’re working as a first responder. Similar action, different context.
That said, if you repeatedly engage in unhelpful habits, see if you aren’t stuck in an unhelpful narrative. Despite what your mind may tell you about how you “have to” do what it says, it may be time to break its grip.
Sign #3 Blaming External Factors
Often, there are real forces holding people back in life; especially in a world that struggles to treat everyone with respect and dignity. But life also asks us to look at our own lives and discern what is within our ability to change. If all you see are external reasons to blame for your misery, see whether you are stuck in a negative narrative.
There are always some aspects within our control, even if it’s just our own perspective. By taking responsibility for ourselves, and making active choices in alignment with our goals and values, we are likely to move the needle in a better direction—step by step.
Sign #4 Difficulty Letting Go
Some experiences have such a strong impact, that they continue to haunt you long after they have passed. Maybe someone hurt you in a devastating way, and although you no longer speak to that person, their image and words still echo in your memories. And whenever you remember, and wrestle with that memory, you might feel your heart beating faster and your body tensing up. Again and again, you feel compelled to engage with that memory, imagining things going differently, and hoping to find a solution or even closure, which will never come.
Learning to let go can be hard, seemingly impossible even, especially if you can still feel the pain. And if you were to let go, you might have to let the people who have wronged you off the hook. But letting go is not about other people; it’s about being kind and compassionate towards yourself. It’s about noticing the toll this endless fighting has on you, and with patience and kindness reclaiming your focus and pulling it away from the itching wound and instead on the things you care deeply about.
Sign #5 Consistent Negative Self-Talk
Most of us tend to speak to ourselves in a manner we would rarely, if ever, use when talking to our friends and loved ones. We are then harsh in our judgments, and quick to punish ourselves with critical insults: “How could I be so stupid?!” “I’m a disappointment.” “I’ll never get it right.” And so on. This is often an automatic process, and we do it so quickly and naturally that we hardly ever notice it, let alone how it’s affecting our well-being.
You might have been led to believe that you need to be strict with yourself so that you stop messing up. But what does your experience tell you about how well that works? If you’re being honest with yourself, you likely agree that this approach didn’t deliver the promised results. You are not a horse to be whipped, you are instead deserving of kindness, patience, and compassion—especially when you make a mistake or when you are vulnerable. Changing your inner monologue requires active practice, but you can develop a more caring tone in time.
Sign #6 Unwillingness to Consider Alternatives
When we’re stuck in a negative narrative, life appears very much one-sided. Our vision gets closed down, and we become convinced that reality is just as our mind tells us it is. This is relatively easy to spot in other people, but it is much harder to notice the impact of beliefs on ourselves. When we wear red-tinted glasses, we don’t see our glasses; instead, we see the world as red. As a result, we feel compelled to act as if the world were red, not realizing that different views and perceptions are available, ones that are just as valid.
If we’re overly concerned about our looks, we may perceive a romantic rejection as proof of our physical inadequacies. We do not notice that it may have nothing to do with ourselves. When we become stressed about all the chores we must do on any given day, we may overlook the fact that not doing them is also an option. There are always different points of view available, some of which are more empowering than others. And by noticing the stories our mind tells us about ourselves, we can more consciously choose which we will ascribe to and which we will let go. In effect, we may not be able to choose our thoughts but we can choose our beliefs.
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The narratives we tell ourselves about ourselves, and the world we live in, have a powerful impact on our mental well-being especially when we believe them. By consciously noticing these narratives – a skill you can practice in your daily life – you can learn to choose how to engage with them: whether you want to let them drive your actions or acknowledge their presence without being dictated by their demands. It’s a matter of continuously training your awareness. And whenever you get sucked back in, you can consciously refocus on what matters to you. Again and again.
Pay attention to these six signs, and practice holding your beliefs with more lightness and flexibility. You soon notice it will help you make new, better choices.
I looked at Mr. Hayes X feed and came across what I thought might be important in treating those with problems in living in a world of conspiracy theories. This is probably more general information important in all types of therapy people seek, but I found it helpful to read and thought it had value to share. I find much of this relatable in the twelve steps of Alcoholics Anonymous of which I am a regular meeting goer.
The Most Important Skill Set in Mental Health
Stephen B. Hayes, PhD
It was more frequently found than self-esteem; support from friends, family, or your therapist; and even whether or not you have negative, dysfunctional thoughts. The most common pathway of change was your psychological flexibility and mindfulness skills. This small set of processes accounted for nearly 45% of everything we know about why therapy works, using the demanding criterion of a successful mediational analysis. When concepts were added that were very similar to psychological flexibility and mindfulness (e.g., self-compassion, behavioral activation, anxiety sensitivity) it soared to nearly 55% of all the successful mediational findings.
The Three Pillars of Psychological Flexibility
We can now say with certainty that psychological flexibility is the single most commonly founded skill of importance to your mental health and emotional well-being. Whether you suffer from anxiety, depression, addiction, or any other kind of mental distress; psychological flexibility helps you deal with these issues more effectively, and move your life in a meaningful direction.
So what does this skill entail? It’s best to think of it as three skills in one.
Pillar #1 Awareness
The first pillar of psychological flexibility is awareness. This means noticing what happens in the present moment: What thoughts show up? Which feelings? And what other sensations can you notice in your body? It also means noticing these things from a more spiritual part of you – your witness or noticing sense of self.
The “now” cannot be experienced with words alone – it needs to be attentively experienced. It’s the difference between talking about the flavor of an orange, and actually tasting the fruit. The latter is much richer than the former. Instead of being “caught up” in your own head, awareness is about being in the here and now. And even more, it entails the ability to deliberately direct, broaden, or focus on different aspects of your experience.
And all of that from the part of you that connects you in consciousness to others.
Pillar #2 Openness
The second pillar of psychological flexibility is openness. This means allowing difficult thoughts and painful feelings – exactly as they are, without them necessarily having to change in any way or form before you can move ahead toward the kind of life you want to live. This part is counterintuitive and often hard to grasp, because people tend to seek therapy precisely to get rid of their negative thoughts and feelings. Unfortunately, the mind does not work this way. Generally, the harder you try to eliminate pain, the more it will control your life. Instead, openness is about dropping the internal fight, allowing thoughts and feelings to be what they are – merely thoughts and feelings – without them needing to control you. Ironically, in that open posture, thoughts and feelings often do change in a more positive direction.
Pillar #3 Valued Engagement
The third and final pillar of psychological flexibility is valued engagement. This means knowing what matters to you, and taking steps in this direction. It involves being in contact with your goals – objectives you want to reach or achieve – and your values – those personal qualities you choose to manifest and be guided by, regardless of a specific outcome. These matters need to be freely chosen, rather than being forced on by others, or mindlessly followed out of custom. But once you have clarity about what matters, you can take action to build sustainable habits that make your life more about what gives it meaning.
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Psychological flexibility is the single most important skill for your mental health and emotional well-being. The first two pillars create a working approach to mindfulness skills. In close connection with other processes of change, psychological flexibility and mindfulness are the smallest set of skills that do the most good in the most areas. And we now know a major part of the answer to the question “why does therapy work?”. Very often it works because it establishes greater awareness, openness, and values-based engagement in life.
When you are frustrated at work, you can notice your frustration, allow it to be, and still take steps to complete your assignment. When you are in a fight with your spouse, you can acknowledge the pain, embrace it as a learning opportunity, and build plans to move forward stronger together.
Psychological flexibility empowers you to stop fighting yourself, and orient your life in a meaningful direction. It is accessible to you right here and now. And just like any other skill, the more you practice it, the better you will become at it.
The history of science and human development shows that when we have a clear target, we can as a human community learn how to move it. Psychological flexibility and mindfulness are not the only processes of importance in creating mental health but they are the most commonly significant ones.
That gives us all a target for change.
Most likely I have some narratives within my mind that may be false. As should be apparent from Mr. Hayes above conquering one’s misconceptions is not easy. I recently read a good article discussing populism in America, and it is apparent that I had latched on to the ongoing thoughts of it and how it’s affected this country in recent times which may not be true. Knowledge is power and I am committed to always try to keep an open mind. I’ve had to throw out bad misconceptions throughout my time on earth, and suspect it will not end. Here is my pseudo-sonnet to end with.
Of Fiddlesticks
It might seem that as an American I too have my own label,
The labels of many others are only seen as false,
As of the right wing conspiracists and their odd waltz,
To only me perhaps they seem mighty unstable,
One fear as a Cain about the potential Abel’s,
As from such people may instantly arise assaults,
Anxiety might just lead one to hit the sauce,
I’ll admit I honestly worry about what’s under the table.
Psychological flexibility seems to be a thing to strive for,
In this demolition derby of today’s American politics,
It’s all so very ugly now - oh fiddlesticks,
We fear the closing of democracy’s door,
There are always different points of view,
And perhaps millions of spirits will in the end renew.
Thanks for reading, perhaps professional therapists can have some business soon. Perhaps it won’t matter one way or another if the MAGA people will ever seek help. Our country allows for free speech and free thought, and we’ve always had the conspiracy mentality as a mainstay of America. But I’m inclined to believe (there’s that word again) that our current situation may be worse than the normal. In any case I’ve voiced my thoughts today.
208th posting, October 26, 2024